Water' You Talking About?
by LainaFantasy
Summary: In a purely human version of the Undertale world, brothers Sam and Patrick are working together to play a water-based prank on their friend Una. Sam thinks that water balloons are the best idea, Patrick wants to use the hose, and the mild, playful argument somehow escalates to a far more personal topic. (Human AU)


**Author's Note: This is a human AU of Undertale. This isn't meant to be based on anyone's existing Undertale AU, and any overlap in humanized names or the circumstances of the characters is purely coincidental. In this AU, there are no monsters or magic, and the characters from Undertale were trapped in inhumane circumstances for many years before Frisk freed them from their captors. The details of this are not touched on. This takes place in the same universe as my story Under Sunlight and Starlight, but you do not have to have read the other one to enjoy this one. This story was actually written first and was going to be standalone, but I decided to edit it to fit it into the universe I had set up. (Should I name it? PurelyHumanTale, maybe? Or UnderCaptive? I don't know. I'm probably not going to write any more of these, anyway.)**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

' **Water' You Talking About?**

"Come on, Pat. I've got the water balloons over here," a short, brown-haired guy said to the taller one trailing behind him.

"Sam, please use my full name: Patrick," the taller man corrected. "And besides that, brother, I do not think that water balloons would be very effective for performing this prank on Una."

"Whatever, bro," Sam said in a nonchalant fashion. "Besides, I think Una would love a bit of water splashed in her face, y'know?"

"I do know, Sam, which is exactly the reason why I am saying that water balloons are not the most effective way to go about this. It would be far more effective to simply use the hose and spray the water directly into her face. In any case, it would hurt less than water balloons would."

"'Water' you afraid of?" Sam asked with a falsely innocent expression.

Patrick closed his eyes in exasperation and sighed. "Please, brother, you know that I do not like your sense of humor very much."

"Come on, bro, I saw a smirk there for a moment," Sam said with a smirk of his own.

Patrick grumbled something indistinctly that sounded like, "Perhaps for a moment, but that does not mean anything."

"Don't de-Nile it, bro!" Sam said. "You find my puns right as rain!"

Patrick raised his hand to his forehead and covered his eyes in exasperation. "Please stop, brother. That is enough."

"Just go with the flow!" Sam exclaimed. When Patrick didn't answer, Sam continued, "Don't bog me down here!"

Patrick began to rub his forehead as he wearily replied, "May we please return to the prior topic? We still must prepare the trick that we plan to play on Una later this afternoon."

"Of course," Sam agreed. "We don't want to get into a _carp_ -load of trouble here!"

"Holy h…" Patrick started to say before Sam cut him off.

"Holy _hail_ , you mean," he 'corrected' with a smirk.

Patrick let out a very quiet and dignified scream of frustration as he clenched and unclenched his fists to let off his annoyance. "The point is, brother," he said carefully, enunciating each word sharply enough to stab, "that it would behoove us to use the hose for our little prank on Una, for the usage of water balloons would result in the need to clean up afterwards, whereas if we use the hose, we would not need to clean anything up, save to put the hose away."

"You do have a fair point there, bro," Sam admitted. "I do love being lazy."

Patrick tensed up. "On the other hand, perhaps it would be more beneficial to use the water balloons. After all, the usage of the water balloons would force you to cease your boondoggling long enough to fill, tie, throw, and clean up the balloons, and work is quite beneficial for both body and soul."

"Nah, I'm not gonna help with the cleanup," Sam casually declared.

"Sam, please, you must do some work at some point! You get lazier and lazier every day! You do not even put in the effort to speak properly! You frequently slur your words, drop letters or even entire syllables, and use cheap slang instead of proper language!"

"So wha? Itdoen'tmatte'" Sam said, purposely slurring the words together and dropping sounds even more than usual.

"Now you are doing this on purpose to annoy me!" Patrick exclaimed. "You are acting so juvenile! Anyone outside of the family would think that I was the older sibling, what with you acting like an immature child." Sam was about to make a snarky comment, but Patrick kept going. "You are never going to make it anywhere in life if you continue to be this lazy and improper, Samuel! You really must put more effort into what you do!" His anger faded as he continued in a softer voice, "I don't want… I don't want to leave you behind. I don't want to… to leave you here while I go off into the world. I want you by my side, able to keep up with me, but I can't leave you, and I can't stay still, either." While Sam was at a loss for words, Patrick continued, "We… we lost a lot of our lives to the… _imprisonment_ , to put it gently. I want to make up for lost time. We've been free for a few years, and our lives are good, but I want to do more and see more. I want to explore the world. I want to be famous, if I can! There's so much out there, and I know that I can't just stay here forever, but… I don't want to leave you behind."

Sam immediately sobered up. Although he never knew what to do in emotional moments, he did have the tact to put his hand on his brother's back. "Hey, Patrick, I'm fine," he said gently, taking care to make sure that his words were clear and distinct. "Sure, I like being lazy. After everything we've been through, I enjoy the relative luxury that we live in now. I enjoy not having to wonder when we would get our next crate of food or who would be taken next by our captors and 'set free,' never to be seen again. I was so afraid for years that finally being safe is… well, it's amazing, and I enjoy it a little too much. But, I still know how to be responsible, and when push comes to shove, I can do whatever is necessary. If you want to go see the world, I'll be at your side, regardless of how much work it takes."

Patrick wiped a tear away as he nodded. "I apologize for my anger and for doubting you. I know that you care about me, and I shouldn't have lost my temper. I always have been the emotional one, have I not?"

"It's okay, bro," Sam said, pulling Patrick into a hug. "It's okay. I'm right here, and we'll always stick together, okay?"

"Thank you, brother," Patrick said with a small smile. "You really can be comforting when you try to be."

Sam smiled, too, but he decided to lighten the mood by saying, "'Water' you talking about? I'm still as much of a pain in the _ice_ as usual."

Patrick tried to look stern, but he cracked a smile before he snickered and then broke out into laughter. "That was positively terrible!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know… I thought that one was a winner for _shore_!"

Patrick snickered a little, then smiled as he said, "Well, we really should get to work. After all, we do not want time to _flow_ right past us, do we?"

Sam was so full of pride that he didn't even mind the effort of filling the water balloons.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope that you enjoyed this! If Sam and Patrick's personalities seem a bit off from my other story, that's just because this was written first and they weren't initially supposed to be linked. Even so, give me feedback on characterization. There's always room for improvement!**

 **In case it wasn't clear to someone, Sam is Sans, Patrick is Papyrus, and Una is Undyne.**

 **Please let me know what you thought of this! I'm always trying to improve, so constructive criticism is welcomed!**


End file.
